Make It Without You
by dnoelle
Summary: Two years post FSF. Christian is caught having an affair. This is Ana's journey to healing after Christian ruined their short marriage. When he tries to fight for her, will she let him back in? Yes, this is a cheating story. Please don't read if you cannot handle that.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I realize a lot of people do not like cheat stories. Well this is one of those. Do not read or even review if you're reviewing just because you don't like the premise. I had someone ask me via PM if I believed Christian could ever cheat on Ana. And my answer is simply: yes. Anyone can cheat. Does that make it right? No. I've read a few cheat stories and they were very well written. Now, here's me taking a shot. I will not every guarantee a HEA in any story. If you've read my stuff before, you know my style of writing. They only have Teddy in this, no other baby. Give it a shot.

Something isn't right. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. After just two years of marriage, Christian and I are pretty in-tune with each other. And, something tells me something is very very wrong.

I've had this feeling for a few hours now. I decided to go check on Christian. He's staying in the city tonight, due to an early meeting tomorrow morning. His meeting ran so late tonight, he just called to let me know he was going to be staying here.

Lucky for him, I secured us a babysitter for the night. Thank you for Gail and Taylor!

And I took off work tomorrow. Make it a late night. But, as I get into the elevator for Escala, I have this sense of dread. I try shaking it off.

I straighten my hair and pull my jacket a little tighter. Boy, do I have a surprise for him under this trench coat.

The elevator dings, alerting me to my arrival at the penthouse. Place looks the same to me. I do love this place. This is where I fell in love with my husband of two years.

I see a light coming from the hallway and scurry over there. I wonder if security alerted him to my coming here. I frown slightly, knowing we don't get enough alone time. We definitely need more of that.

I notice the light was coming from his office. He probably fell asleep there.

As I open the door, I notice a few things at once. The contents of his desk are on the floor, there is a woman sitting on his desk and he is pounding into her.

After a few grunts, he notices me, looking over his whore's shoulder. His eyes get wide, knowing he's been caught. He quickly covers himself up and she looks at me. Quickly she straightens herself and pulls her hiked up skirt down.

I think I'm going to be sick. She makes a run for it and I slam the door behind her. Normally I would run and cry. But, I also never thought this type of thing would happen to me. Certainly Christian would be faithful. HA!

"Ana, I-" he's made his way to standing right in front of me. I can smell her on him. Smell sex and deceit.

"Don't," I say in nearly a whisper. He goes to touch me. I smack him. He winces and puts his hand to his cheek.

We stare at each other. I have no clue what to say. What is there to say? I knew we've had a rocky month, but seriously? Sleeping with someone else?

A tear escapes from the corner of my eye. He goes to wipe it away, but then stops himself. My world is spinning. My husband, who I have given myself to, heart and soul, has been sleeping around on me. I knew our life was too good to be true. I knew it. What did I do wrong to not make him happy at home?

I want to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"How many?" I ask, not expecting him to be truthful at all.

"How many what?" he asks, looking at the floor. Like a boy who got his toy taken away. Seriously Christian.

"How many women?"

He just looks at me, with pain in his eyes. "Just her. This is the only time this has happened…" he begins.

I put my hand up to hush him. He becomes silent again.

"You've got lipstick on your cheek," I murmur, turning on my heels and casually walking toward the elevator. It pings again, letting me know it's here and I look back at Christian. He is rubbing his face where the lipstick was.

He looks at me, willing me to stay. I step on and the door goes to close. I stop the elevator. I forgot something. I take my wedding ring and engagement ring off and set it on the small table next to the elevator.

Christian just stares at me, wide eyed. And scared. "Ana, please.." he says. And the elevator closes. As does my heart.


	2. Chapter 2

I don't even know how I made it home. It's now just after 10pm. I am exhausted. And angry. Wanting to punch a wall angry. How could this happen? I thought we were okay.

_You always wondered if you were enough, Ana, _my subconscious reminds me. I pull my car into the garage and take a breath. Holy shit, my husband was fucking another woman. In our penthouse apartment.

I take my keys out of the ignition and make my way into the house. Gail is there in the kitchen, making some tea.

"Mrs. Grey, I didn't expect you home so early," she says, taking the water for her tea off the stove.

I shrug. "Well, that's what happens when you walk in on your husband cheating on you," I spit out. I did not mean to blurt it out like that. Or hell, even say anything at all. I generally like to keep mine and Christian's relationship out of everyone's view. But, now, I cannot seem to care. He didn't, so why should I?

I hear something break and I'm guessing it was the coffee cup Gail was going to use to put the hot water in. I hear Taylor coming through the back door in the kitchen. "Gail! Are you okay? Ana?"

He's confused. A broken mug on the floor and Gail and I just looking at one another. "Ana, I'm so sor-"

"Please don't apologize for my husband's infidelity, Gail. Taylor, did you know?" I ask him, as if I'm asking him for the funnies section of the paper.

He just stares at me. "No," he simply replies, and I know he's telling the truth. Thank God. Maybe it only was this one time. _Doesn't matter, Ana._ My subconscious is right. I walk over to the broken pieces and begin picking up the big ones.

"Let me get this, Ana," Gail says, shooing me away.

Taylor approaches me. "I swear to you, Ana. I had no idea."

"I believe you, Taylor," I say. Is this what shock is? I'm not in a puddle on the floor. I'm not sobbing. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Teddy?" I ask.

"He's been sleeping soundly for the last hour or so," Gail tells me.

"Thank you, both. I'm going to retire for the evening," I say. They both just nod. Unsure of what to say or do. I make my way to my bedroom and change clothes. I just stare at the bed. Our bed. Well, not any more. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? Oh, Teddy….

After putting on my sweats, I walk in to check on him. He's sound asleep, little teddy bear next to him and soft lullaby music playing. He really is the best baby in the world.

I creep out of Teddy's room and make my way to the spare bedroom. I cannot and will not sleep in the bed we shared. I just cannot.

I feel defeated. As if someone has taken a knife to my gut. And that someone is Christian Grey. The one person who said I was his _more_. That I was enough. The one person I chose to give everything I have to and he ruined it.

I pull back the covers of our spare queen sized bed. I take a look at my BlackBerry. No missed calls, no texts. He hasn't tried to call me or text me. Nor has he followed me home to talk. I guess this is it for our marriage. How do I forgive this? How can I even look at him anymore?

I have a vision of him fucking that woman on his desk. I shake it off and I hug the pillow, let out a sigh and the tears flow. And flow they do.


	3. Chapter 3

I wake with a start. Fucking dreams. More like nightmares now. I put my head in my hands and then run my hands through my hair. I look at the time. Only 2am. Good thing I took off tomorrow.

I was dreaming of Christian and I, in the meadow, when we went to visit Elliott and see how the construction was going. What happened to that? What we had then?

I shake my head and swing my feet off the bed, putting them in my slippers. I leave the guest bedroom and make my way quietly to the kitchen. I need a drink. I make my way to the kitchen, groggily, and flick on the lights. I grab a wine glass from the cabinet and grab a bottle of whatever from the wine fridge. I pop the cork, pour it, and sit at the counter.

Where did I go wrong? I thought I was everything he wanted, hell even needed. Hell, we just made love the day before yesterday. For hours. And there was no indication to me that anything was wrong. Asshole.

I pour my second glass and I hear the front door open. I don't even bother looking, I know who it is. That walk, those footsteps, I know it's Christian.

He stops in the kitchen and sees me on the barstool. I can't look at him. I'll break. And I refuse to give him the satisfaction.

"Ana-"

I hold my hand up. "Don't."

"We need to talk about this," he pleads, slurring his words. I chance a look at him. He looks disheveled. He's drunk.

"I don't want to talk about the whore you were fucking in our penthouse apartment," I say, pouring my third glass. He gets to be irresponsible, then so do I. I'm 24 years old for crying out loud. "You chose that whore over us, over me. And you chose to drink yourself into oblivion instead of coming home to talk about it."

"That's rich coming from the whino over here," he says, then his eyes immediately get large, realizing what he just said. He pours his scotch into his glass and takes a long pull.

I don't even give him the satisfaction of an answer. Anything I say right now will put me over the edge. We stare at each other for who knows how long. There's longing and pain in his eyes. Good. Fuck you.

I stand after I finish my third glass and go to wash my wine glass. He grabs my arm and I roughly pull it away from him. His touch used to make me want to come in my panties. Now, I just want to throw something at his head.

"Damnit Ana! We need to talk!" he says, throwing his glass across the room at the refridgerator.

"You wanna talk? Let's talk!" I scream at him. "Why?"

He looks down at his feet. "I don't know," he replies.

"Good talk Christian. Don't bother talking to me until you can find that fucking answer! And clean this up, your almost two year old son doesn't need to get hurt from his fathers idiocy too." I practically run upstairs to the spare bedroom. I grab my phone and a suitcase. I cannot stay here any longer. All of this belongs to him, not me. He bought all of this. And Lord only knows I refuse to be kicked out, sitting on the sidelines while he brings some woman into our home.

He gently knocks on the door and opens it, as I stuff in some clothes. "Ana, where are you going?"

"Away from you," I nearly whisper.

"Ana, I didn't mean for this to happen,"

"So what? You slipped and landed inside her?" I growl.

He grabs my arm again and pulls me to look at him. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what? Ruining our marriage? Lying to me? Betraying your son? Which one?!" I spit out.

"All of it. It was a moment of weakness. This is the only time this has happened, I swear."

"And that's supposed to make it okay? Well, he only cheated once, so that makes it all better?" I bark at him. "I'm 24 and my marriage is falling apart."

"Ana.."

"Get your hands off of me," I tell him. He doesn't let me go. So, I push him. He lets go and then comes back at me. He grabs my head before I can even move and pushes his mouth onto mine.

"Don't go," he whispers.

"You don't actually expect me to stay here with you, do you?" I respond back. "I promised you I would never go. But, I'm going back on that promise. You snuck around behind my back. While I was at home, with our son. I was foolish to think we could make this work."

"Ana, don't say that. I made a mistake…"

"Yes, and a big one at that," I reply, moving from him to zip up my suitcase.

"I love you," he pleads.

"I hate you," I bite back. The lost look on his face makes me want to cry. But, I cannot. He did this to us. He ruined us, this. He sits down on the bed and I text Sawyer. I'm in no shape to drive, let alone with a child in the back.

He sits there stunned, as I return from Teddy's room with his clothes and put them in our duffel bag. Sawyer makes it to the spare bedroom and grabs the bag I hand him, while I go to grab Teddy from his room. I have Teddy in my arms and stop at the spare bedroom where Christian hasn't moved. I stand in the doorway and just look at him, look at my past, at what I thought I had. His eyes meet mine and it's then I see the tears coming from his eyes.

"What have I done?" he asks. I give him one more look and I leave, leaving the life I thought we would have for the rest of my life. Nothing will ever be the same.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Characters do not belong to me, just borrowing for my story. Someone asked me why I write as angsty as I do. I have no clue. Maybe my life is just that boring? LMAO. Who knows. I just write. I never have a plan with writing. Check me out on FB at DNoelle FanFiction, there you'll find the link to this story's playlist. If anyone has noticed, the soundtrack kind of gives you a hint as to how the story is going to go. I won't ever say whether a story of mine has a HEA in the title or before it's done. You'll just have to read and see.

_CPOV_

"_Look, let's just get this over with,"_ _I tell Gabrielle. I can't even look at her. I slide her ass closer to the end of the desk and slip in her. I begin a punishing pace and after a few minutes, I open my eyes. And I see my wife._

I wake with a start, disoriented. I'm still in the spare bedroom. Where Ana left me two days ago. I haven't left. Haven't showered. I've just been trying to be as close to my wife as I could be. Every time my phone buzzes, I check to make sure it isn't her. And it hasn't been. Why would she call? I fucked someone else in our penthouse.

I honestly don't even know why I did it. It was just nice to be in control again. It's Friday. I should probably get up and at least try to go to work. I text Ros to let her know I'd be in today and head to the master bedroom for a quick shower and shave. I text Taylor and tell him to be ready to go in 30 minutes. I need to get out of this house. The pity party has to end. I did this. Now, I just have to fix this.

Twenty five minutes later I emerge and am in the kitchen of the house. No Taylor. No Gail. I check my watch, it's 730, what the hell? I text Taylor again. He comes in the back door and says nothing. I suppose he is pissed at me too. Not that I don't deserve it.

"I'm headed to Grey House, Taylor," I say, as we make our way to the Audi SUV. He again says nothing and starts the car. As we make our way down the driveway, he opens his mouth and then says nothing.

"By all means, please, if you have something to say Taylor…"

"I'm giving you my two week notice sir," he says. I stare at him blankly. "I cannot work for you anymore."

I just nod. Guess I should have saw that coming. Taylor is a good, moral person. And, I on the other hand, am fucked up. I nod at him, not saying anything else. What should I say?

"I'll give you a letter of recommendation,"

"No need. I'll still be working for Mrs. Grey," he says. That stung. He always was fond of her. Of course Gail would be going with him too. What the hell have I done? It is true what they say, you lose everything when you cheat.

I just nod again. I wipe the tear coming from the side of my eye and bolt the car when we pull up at Grey House. Can I even fix this? I had one moment of weakness. And that's truly what this was. A fleeting moment. One I wish I could take back. Ana was so good at being a mother, and working, and being a wife. I was jealous of her. The company wasn't doing as well as I was previously. For the last six months, I was not getting as many acquisitions as the board would have liked. The pressure was on. I hadn't gone on any overseas trips or anything longer than overnight since Teddy had been born. I refuse to be away from them for weeks at a time.

And well, finally, I felt like I was out of control at work, at home. It was like I wasn't even needed. Ana had everything under control. Like the goddess she is, my child is healthy and happy, and I was taken care of. Our sex life was starting to taper off. It wasn't that bad. We still had sex at least 5 times a week. I was in fear of being edged out of my life at home and at work. God, I fucked up.

I make it to my office and refuse to stop and chit-chat with anyone. I close the doors and exhale sharply. Ana's left, Taylor and Gail are leaving, and I truly have been edged out of my own life. I'm not needed anymore. And I have no one to blame but myself.

My phone buzzes and it's Ana. _Would you like to see Teddy?_ Well of course. Is this an olive branch? I hope so. I quickly respond with a yes. There's no delay in her response. _I'll have Taylor bring him to you this evening._

I was hoping we could meet up. But, I need to give her time. I was never a patient man, but I have to be for the sake of my marriage and my family. I wonder what she's been up to these last few days. I haven't heard from her at all until now.

I ruined my marriage. And for what? A quick fuck? No one could ever have my heart, no one but Ana. So why did I think this was okay?

I buzz Ros and ask her to take my meetings for the day. I cannot even manage to get out of the chair, let alone pretend to be interested in the business today.

After lunch, I feel no better. Even a few glasses of bourbon hadn't calmed me. I decide I need to take this into my own hands. I broke this, so I need to fix this. I text Taylor and as him to meet me. He comes into my office and I explain to him what happened, hoping to repair the sort of friendship we had.

I explained to him I needed to go talk to Ana. He told me that she hadn't been to work, that she was at the new apartment she'd gotten for herself. Well that's new. See, she doesn't need me. I shake off that thought and tell him I need to see her. He smiles at me slightly. I've at least explained things to him. Maybe he won't leave after all. As we both head for the doors of my office to leave, someone knocks then enters. It is a man in a suit.

"Christian Grey?" he asks.

"Yes, but I'm-" I begin.

"You've just been served," he says, handing me a folder of papers. I stare blankly at them. They're papers for filing separation. From Ana.


	5. Chapter 5

*DING DONG*

Shit, I didn't realize it was already time for Taylor to come and pick up little Teddy to see his father. I double check my watch and sure as shit it's 6pm. I make my way over to the door and open it for Taylor.

"Hey Taylor," I say.

"Mrs. Grey," he nods. Something is up. I look at him. "He got the papers."

Oooooh. Didn't think it would happen that soon. I know when I went to talk to the lawyer they said a whole lot of stuff that I couldn't even listen to. I just signed, knowing that separation was the best for now.

I nod and start gathering Teddy's things. He's in the pack and play and lights up when he sees Taylor. I lift him into Taylors arms and Taylor just smiles at me.

"Whatever you need to do, I understand, Ana. Gail and I are here for you," he says and with Teddy in one arm and his bag in another, they depart.

Christian really should see his son. I won't see him. I refuse to. But, Teddy shouldn't suffer because of his father's behavior.

Plus, I've got plans tonight. A night of dancing with Kate. Well, Kate and Elliott. Not sure I'm looking forward to seeing Elliott. He can read me like a book. I haven't told anyone about Christian and I. Although, I'm sure Kate knows something is up because I actually called her and asked her to come out. Which, never happens lately. Especially since Teddy.

I hop in the shower and begin getting ready for the night. I wonder if I've lost my mind. I feel numb. Like this is all just a bad dream. But then once I think that, I get a visual of Christian balls deep in his whore. Nope, not a dream. I had Dr. Greene do an annual exam yesterday and I asked her to include an STD test, just in case. I don't know if I can trust him that this is the one and only whore he's taken on.

I finish and wrap my hair in a towel while drying myself off with another. I like my new place. It didn't take me long. What with a name like Grey, nothing takes long at all. I've got a modern, city view 2 bedroom apartment back in the Pike Market District. Nothing extravagant. Lord knows I make good money, just not the money he does. So, I have to be sure to use sparingly. I refuse to ask him for any support. I don't want his money. Or his status.

I take a look in the mirror and see the bags underneath my eyes. Maybe this really is shock. Since I sobbed myself to sleep two nights ago and left our home on the sound, I haven't cried once. Distance really does help. I plan on telling Kate and Elliott tonight. I hope Elliott saves me the embarrassment of telling the rest of the family. I just don't think I could see them right now. I grab my make up and begin to work some magic. I don't really want to go out, but I cannot stay in here any more. After Taylor, Sawyer, and Gail moved us in, it's been way too quiet. I need to burn off some energy, some steam.

I pull my hair out of the towel and begin blow drying it. I'm starting to wonder if going out was a good idea. I mean, my life is in shambles. My husband was fucking another woman, in our penthouse and three days later I'm going out, like nothing happened.

_You deserve to let your hair down, Ana. Your child is safe and with his father. You are 24 and should be doing things like this._ My subconscious has been nothing but helpful lately. Maybe this isn't bad. _He was out, while you were married. You're not even planning on bringing anyone home! Just go have some brainless fun with your best friend._

I finish putting on my top. One of those sparkly, sleeveless, low cut ones to go with my matching skin tight dark wash jeans and my knee high boots. I think I look okay. Especially after having a child. I text Kate and make my way out the door, locking it behind me. I'll have to get used to a city apartment again. The house on the sound was truly perfect for me. I shake my head of the thoughts. I'll be just fine.

I hail a taxi and finish applying my mascara. I gave Sawyer the night off, as I'm sure he's tired of having to haul us around.

As the car pulls up in front of Inferno, I see Kate and she is waving at me to come stand in line with her and Elliott.

"Look at you, momma! Hot!" She says. "What made you want to come out tonight?"

"Uh, just needing some time out with my bestie," I hug Elliott. "Hi El."

He hugs me back and says: "Let's get this show on the road."

We are immediately let in and take a seat in the VIP area. I'll miss some of the easy perks of this last name. I shake that thought too, knowing that sounded a lot worse than I meant it.

Elliot goes to get us drinks. "Spill, Steele."

I just look at her. Straight to the point, eh? "I've filed for separation from Christian."

She spits out her water. "WHAT?!"

"I caught him fucking some whore on his desk at Escala." My voice sounds lifeless. Kinda like my marriage at this point.

"He what?!" Elliott says, almost dropping our drinks.

"Look, I didn't come out tonight to talk about that. I just wanted to get out of my new place. Teddy is with Christian and I'd just like to have a night full of mind numbing dancing and drinking," I down the shot Elliott got us, before we even toast. I grab Kate's hand and we make it to the floor.

An remixed version of Sweet Nothing by Calvin Harris and Florence Welch plays as Kate and I begin to dance. That shot was good. Elliott joins us with more shots as Kate and I dance. This is the escape I need. No 'Mrs. Grey' tonight, no 'mommy'. I'm just Ana. And I savor it.

After a few songs, Kate and I sit in the VIP area again with more drinks. Another two shots for me and my vodka cranberry. She sips water, and I notice she hasn't drank one ounce of alcohol at all.

"Kate," I slur. "Are you preggers?" I giggle at the absurdity of that word. She nods and I squeal in delight. Ava is going to have a little brother or sister! I frown realizing that Teddy is an only child. Like I was. I never wanted him to be an only. I wipe away a tear.

"Ana, no crying dear. This will all work out," she says.

"What if I don't want it to work out," I ask her clear as day. She just looks at me shocked. "How can I get the image of him fucking another woman out of my head so quickly? Like it never happened? That's burned into my fucking head. I can't just "let this one go"."

"I know, I know. But, I'll get great pleasure out of kicking his ass," Kate says, drinking water again.

"As will I," Elliott chimes in. I smile at them. They mean well. I just can't seem to care at the moment. And I need to dance. I notice out of the corner of my eye that Taylor has made an appearance. _How did he know?_ I sigh. I guess Christian's stalker tendencies will never cease. Maybe I can give Taylor something to report!

And with the alcohol and anger in my system, I decide to give Taylor something to report to Christian. I make the decision to make Christian jealous. Two can play games, asshole. I excuse myself to go dance and leave Kate and Elliott to their make out session they'd begun when I noticed Taylor. Remind me to find non married friends, so I don't feel like a third wheel, I say internally to my subconscious.

I get on the dance floor and begin moving. I don't care what is playing. But it works, as a football jock looking guy comes over and starts pawing at me. And I give him something to paw at. That's when I see the flash of the camera. And then another flash. Apparently we are standing by the window of the club, and a few paparazzi have decided to take our picture, me and jock guy. Oh great.

I yell at him and thank him for the dance over the music in the club and make my way back to the VIP room. I grab my jacket. Kate and Elliott look exhausted. Yeah, parenthood does that to you.

"I'm going to take off. You guys should too," I say and down the last of the alcohol at the table. Thank goodness I didn't give them the opportunity to chime in more about me and Christian or about me leaving. I need to get out of here. It was nice for a few hours to escape but now the place is stifling and I would like to get out of the prying eyes of the paps.

I make it outside and notice that Taylor followed. I go to hail a taxi and then Taylor interrupts me. "Mrs. Grey," he begins. "Let me take you back to your apartment."

I shake my head as I get into the back seat. "Take me to Christian." He says nothing and drives to the house on the sound. Well, his house. I frown at the thought.

As Taylor drives up the driveway, I punch in my code for the gate and we we ascend the windy drive. I'd better do this before I lose my nerve. Nothing good can come from visits at, I look at my watch, 1am, but I don't care. I need this. Need him.

I climb out of the SUV quickly and wave at Taylor, letting him know to take off. I walk in and notice Teddy's bag isn't here. He's probably with Grace and Carrick. They deserve to see him too. I climb the stairs to our main suite and notice Christian in bed, tossing and turning. I take off all my clothes and roll back the duvet.

_This is a bad idea, Anastasia!_ My subconscious roars. But, I cannot care. I need him to know who he belongs to. I need him to fuck me. I need to know that I still matter. I lay a hand on his chest and drag it down his washboard abs, to his happy trail.

He stirs. "Ana?" he says, eyes still closed. I cannot help the smirk that plays on my lips. Good thing I'm still drunk, or I wouldn't be able to actually do this. I grab him and he grabs my wrist. I don't stop my ministrations. And he lets me continue. I look at him. And he looks at me, sleepily. He grabs the back of my head and pulls my naked form to him.

"Ana, oh Ana. I've missed you," he says. "I'm so sorry."

I straddle him and put my lips to his, not wanting to hear that. I don't want gentle, sweet nothings. I want this hard and fast. I sink down on him and he groans. As do I. I ride him like I've never ridden him before. I ease myself up, then slam down hard. I feel a twinge of guilt at my using my soon to be ex husband for sex. But, I need this. He rolls us over and pounds into me. I roll us back over and pin his wrists over the top of his head. He needs to know that it's my turn. I get to be in control this time. I deserve that at least.

I quicken my pace and bite his shoulder as I come, which in turn makes him come violently into me. Good. I needed that. And I've sobered up. Oh, this isn't good. I just came to my old home, fucked my husband, and intend on walking out the damn door. Well, I'll grab some more of my things.

He caresses my face and I move from his reach. He frowns, not understanding that I just used him for sex. Guess he'll get it when I start leaving again. I get up and head for the shower. I lock the door and let the water wash me clean. I feel dirty. Like I am the whore in this scenario. I towel dry and dry off my hair. I better get this over with.

I bypass my husband and his quizzical look and head straight to the our walk in closet. I hear his phone ringing and wonder idly if it's _her_. I stifle a sob, knowing that what I've done is wrong, as is what he did. This was a bad idea.

I come out changed in my sweats and a tank top. I go for my shoes and notice his expression. He looks hurt. Like seriously hurt.

"Look Christian, I-"

"Come here to fuck me after fucking this guy?" I look at him like he has three heads and then he shows me the picture of football guy grinding into me from earlier at the club. Oh shit, forgot about that.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thank you for those who took the time to provide either positive or constructive yet opinionated feedback. To those of you who called me a "moron" or "idiot" or who accused me of being "...so miserable in your own life that all you have to do is tear apart a love story that brings so many of us a little bit of happiness? Pathetic.". First of all, no, I'm not an idiot. Since you don't have the gall to do anything but review as a guest, then I'm guessing I'm not the idiot. Cowards. Secondly, are you that invested in a fantasy world that you cannot see the line between real and IMAGINARY? Go write your own if you don't like what I have put here. Are you so miserable that you have to tear down someone who is writing something that you just don't like? And for the record, I'm not a miserable person. But someone who takes the time to write something like that must be. _

_So anywho, thanks for all the great feedback and again, characters are not mine. Just borrowing thanks to E.L._

It's been two days since I left Christian after sleeping with him. And yes, I feel like a whore. Or at least like a horrible person. He accused me of sleeping with some random guy off the street.

"_Come here to fuck me after fucking this guy?" he asks, the hurt and anger radiating off of him._

"_No, Christian. I did not fuck him. Unlike you, I can keep it in my pants," I say grabbing my shoes and heading for the SUV. _

Fuck that pissed me off. Not that I can blame him for coming to that conclusion. And now there are several news articles about "_Mrs. Grey steps out on Mr. Grey", "Trouble in Paradise" _and even "_Grey's Demanding Ways Pushes Wife Away"._ Dunno how they got that one. Christian issued a public statement before I could. One where he neither admits or denies any guilt. Just that we have separated.

We haven't spoken since. He and I both need time to cool off. It was pretty idiotic what I did, sleeping with my husband after he cheats on me as some failed attempt to know I still matter. I just needed to feel that connection with him. That's the only part of our relationship we can both truly communicate with.

_What relationship? _My subconscious reminds me.

I just want to put all of this behind me. And that's why I decided to go to the session Flynn asked me to go to. He said he had one with Christian the morning after our little tryst and Flynn thought we needed a few marriage counseling sessions. If I didn't trust that man, I'd tell him to stick it.

I didn't want to say no. I want to have a better understanding as to why. It doesn't just happen, I don't care what anyone says. No matter what, he is still my husband and I do still love him. Whether or not we get back together is really up to his actions at this point.

So here I am, in the SUV on my way to our joint session with Flynn. Sawyer came and picked me up. He's been rather attentive since the whole thing with Christian. He's been texting me to see how Teddy and I are doing. And I've appreciated his friendship.

My emotions have been all over the place. Guilt. Anger. Sadness. And on this Monday evening, the weather matches how I feel. The car comes to a stop and I know we're here.

"Thank you Sawyer," I say, exhaling the breath I didn't realize I was holding. I need to get a grip. Now can I move forward from this. And do _we_ move forward from this. Sawyer opens the door to my new Land Rover Evoque and I make my way into the office for Flynn.

I make it to reception and check in. Christian hasn't arrived yet. He's usually Mr. Early, but not today. I look at my watch and see it's five til 6. _Where is he?_

And just as I think it, he appears through the elevator. I can't even look him in the eye. And apparently he cannot look at me either. He sits on the chair across the waiting area. _That's different._

"Ana? Christian?" Flynn opens his door and allows us to go in. He, too, notices we are sitting so far apart and makes a mental note. I get up and walk through first, Christian right behind me.

"Ana. It's nice to see you," he nods. "Christian." He nods at Christian and we take our seats next to each other. Oh, this is going to be so awkward.

"Let's begin, shall we?" he asks, pulling out his tablet. "Who would like to start?"

Christian clears his throat. "I will."

There's a pause. An awkward pause that makes me believe he's gathering his thoughts. I haven't seen him so unsure of himself in so long.

"Ana. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for any of this to happen. She was….a lapse in judgement. That's it."

"Was she the only?" I blurt out.

"Yes. As I told you before, she was the only and that was the only time."

A tear escapes my eye and I roughly brush it away. Damn tears, giving away my sadness. "Why?"

Christian looks to Flynn and he nods, willing Christian to continue. Guess Flynn already knows this answer.

"I-I felt to lost. Like I wasn't needed any more, Ana."

I whip my head around and meet his gaze. "You what?"

"You were Wonder Mom over here and I was having issues at GEH and.."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.

"It's all resolved now. I've made some fixes and everything is fine. Losing you has made me refocus…."

"Christian, why don't you tell Ana what you mean by her being "Wonder Mom", as you put it?" Flynn urges.

I look back at Christian expectantly. "You didn't need me anymore. You had everything under control without me. And I felt unnecessary in your life. In our life," he rubs his hands together, his nervous gesture.

I'm taken aback. I always need Christian. He's been my rock since the moment I met him. "I always need you," I whisper.

"Ana, why don't you go next," Flynn urges.

I look at him confused. Guess he already knows what a bad person I am by "using" my husband I'm separated from for sex.

I'm also guessing we're in for an extended session tonight. Thank goodness Gail agreed to watch Teddy again.

"I'm sorry Christian. I never slept with that guy from the photos in the newspaper. It was one moment of "I don't give a fuck" and I just didn't care," I look down and away from him once I finish. I have hurt him as well and need to take ownership of it. "And I should've never come back to your house-"

He looks at me blankly. "Our house," he corrects.

"I should've never come back to the house on the sound that night. I gave you the wrong impression that we were okay and I was coming home." I lean back in my chair and look at Flynn again.

"Now we have everything on the table. The much needed apologies have been said. Now it's up to the two of you on how you want to work on it. I suggest talking just the two of you at some point. Get everything out in the open. I say we try another appointment, say Friday?" he asks. I nod, as does Christian. "Make your appointment with the receptionist and I'll see both of you then."

Flynn stands and Christian and I stand to leave. There's still so much to say. So much to air out. We can't even really speak to each other when it's just the two of us apparently, so how can we just talk it out?

Christian opens the door and motions for me to go first. That's a little better than when we first arrived. I smile and go through the door, stopping at the receptionists desk to figure out what time works for Christian. I look at him and for the first time today, I notice he's looking at me as well. I give him a small smile.

We finish with the receptionist and head toward the elevator. He pushes the button and no one says anything.

"Ana," he practically breathes. He turns to me as the elevator opens. We both walk in and when the doors close, I look back to him.

"Ana, will you have dinner with me this evening? Maybe we can talk a bit?" he asks.

And I'm truly on the fence about it. What should I tell him? This is unchartered territory for us. We've never been in such a predicament. We haven't actually sat down, just the two of us, in quite some time.

I look at him. Will it always be this awkward with him from now on? And I truly have no clue how to answer his simple question for a date.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Hello to all. I'm so very sorry for the delay. Since my last update, I have moved across the US to my hometown and have been swamped with hopes of getting a new job and being sick. Ugh. Thank you for all the supportive emails and messages! Means a lot. I refuse to let some negativity stop me from writing this story. I am truly grateful for the folks that have spoken with my on FB and helped boost my confidence. This is a weak chapter, I know. But, I'm working hard on the one after this. Please be patient and stick with me on this journey. Don't forget to check me out on FB dnoellefanfiction and then there is a link to the Make It Without You soundtrack. My stuff does not get edited, so I apologize about the mistakes._

_All the characters and stuff belong to EL. Just borrowing!_

"I-uh-" I stammer. Why can't I form words today? Seriously?

"Come," he says extending his hand. I take it and follow him.

I guess I'm agreeing to eat dinner with my estranged husband. He tells Sawyer to head back to the house and be with Teddy as I hop into the Audi. Christian joins us, tells Taylor where to go, and leans back and takes my hand. Taylor gives me a nod and takes off.

"I've missed you," he whispers. He gives my hand a slight squeeze, while looking out the window, and then quickly releases me. This gesture makes me wistful. It's like we don't know how to act around each other. Which isn't "us".

I apparently cannot form words again. As much as I have missed him, I'm still hurt. I look out my window and wait until we pull up in front of our favorite restaurant _Italiano Primo_. Taylor gets my door and Christian extends his arm for me to take. I grab him by the inside of the elbow and allow him to usher me into the restaurant. And of course, we get our "regular" table. He pulls out the chair for me and I sit. I'm nervous.

Christian orders the bottle of wine and we sit in companionable silence.

"How is Teddy doing?" he asks, as he finishes his salad.

"He's doing okay. I think he knows something is up. He's been fussy throughout the nights," I reply.

Christian just nods.

"I think he should spend some more time with you, Christian. I know he misses you. He's not used to...us being apart," I look down, unable to erase the memory of him screwing another woman in our home.

"Can I explain to you what happened?" he asks, eyes cast down.

I nod, knowing exactly what he's referring to.

"Her name is Gabrielle. She was a new assistant at Grey house," he begins.

My stomach roils. I'm not sure I'm ready for this. He reaches for my hand and I let him take it.

"I want us to be able to get everything out there so we can work on this, Ana. I love you," he states, lacing our fingers together.

I nod, allowing him to continue.

"I was feeling so out of control. Unneeded. Unnecessary in my own life. She picked up on that. Hindsight truly is 20/20 and she knew exactly what she was doing. I let myself be taken away by the 20 year old in the office. She was so enamored with me. And I missed that. That feeling...of being the center of someone's world. So, I took her for dinner and we wound up at the penthouse that night. I knew it was wrong, Anastasia. And I'm sorry. Please know that no one can replace you….."

I think I'm in a nightmare. My husband let a 20 year old seduce him because he felt inadequate?! Seriously? I rip my hand from his.

"You should have talked to me. Not stuck it to a 20 year old Christian. You broke up our family for this?" I ask, seething.

"Ana. Please tell me we can come back from this. I am so sorry to have done this to you and to Teddy. I want my life back. My life with you guys in it all the time," he begs

I stand. I cannot hear any more of this. I'm so angry. To lose himself in someone for feeling inadequate at home? He was the center of my universe. WAS. I put on my coat and turn to head to the door. He grabs my arm. "Ana, please don't…"

"Christian, you can pick up Teddy tomorrow evening if you like. I can't look at you right now. I'm so….angry," I spit out. He lets me go.

Christian has Teddy again. We've gotten a pretty good groove going with custody of him. No need for paperwork, we both want what's best for him. It's the only thing I can agree with him on. It's been three weeks since our dinner. And I cancelled my appointment with Flynn and him. I couldn't do it. I feel so betrayed. And I really just want to punch him in the face half the time, so I've avoided him like the plague. Thank goodness for Taylor agreeing to stay on both Christian and I's service for Teddy. Gayle has agreed to spend time at both places as well.

Thanksgiving is tomorrow. We've agreed to put up a great front for Grace and Carrick and the rest of the family. We've agreed to wait until after the holidays and dampen the mood with our separation. Kate and Elliot agreed to keep their mouths shut on the topic and will let us handle it. This ought to be interesting.

As I make the pies for tomorrow, I take a sip of my wine. This time last year, Christian and I were making love all night while Grace and Carrick had Teddy. We spent the whole time in each others arms. We were so "connected", so "in-tune". I shake those memories away. Now, I can't even speak with him. I've avoided all his calls. His communication about Teddy goes through Taylor and that's it.

I'm still not sure about tomorrow. I mean, it's his family. Teddy's too, but not mine. My hair-brained mother is across the country and my father is hunting. Not like I have much of an option. Carrick and Grace has truly become like family. I'm going to miss them. I've been avoiding them as well. I've been sending Taylor to drop Teddy off with them or have cancelled my appointments with Mia for shopping.

The timer goes off and I remove the apple and pumpkin pie from the oven. I turn the oven off and leave the pies out to cool. I need some sleep. The good Dr. Flynn has given me some anti-anxiety pills and this'll be the first night I take one. I hope that the sleep overcomes me as tomorrow is going to be a difficult day.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Just to clarify a question I was asked, in my story Gabrielle and Christian had sex at the penthouse. Ana and Christian lived at the home on the sound. She was upset that he had "sex with his whore in their home". Of course, because they are married, the penthouse is her home as well. She also developed her relationship with him in that penthouse apartment, which makes it sting even more because of that. She considers that home just as much as the home on the sound. Also Taylor and Gail will be splitting time between the two homes, mostly transitioning with Teddy. I didn't think specifying who was paying for it mattered; however Christian is footing the bill. Hope that clarifies any questions. Thank you again for your continued support and mostly positive feedback. The "attacks" just make me giggle. Sorry that my stories are a little rough, as I don't have them edited. No one has offered and I wouldn't even know how to go about getting them edited. _

Christian is waiting for me downstairs with the Audi. Our security has the holiday off and so does Gail. Taylor and Gail will be joining the family for dinner. I insisted and Grace was more than welcoming to the idea. It's good for Teddy to have some sort of stability, even if his parents cannot provide it. We're riding together because we don't want to tell the family just yet. Christian and I haven't been in the same room, let alone the same vehicle, in quite awhile. I secure the pies and head to the door, that opens with my estranged husband greeting me.

"Hello, Anastasia," he whispers. He helps me take a pie, and we head toward the door to the garage.

"Happy Thanksgiving, Christian," I offer.

"And to you. Teddy is already at my parents house," he announces as he hits the button for the garage.

Oh, so it's really just me and him in the car. This ought to be fun. Nothing to distract me from him being near me. I need to hear some things from him before I can even consider reconciliation. He admitted to why and what happened. But, it still doesn't make sense to me.

However, my heart is racing at the sight of this man, even though it is a short trip. We still have that spark, no doubting that. He turns to me and gives me his knowing grin, to which I return. I look back at my feet and soon enough we are on the road.

As he pulls out of the garage, I realize that I miss this. I miss him. His scent, his touch, his possessiveness. He's done what I asked by giving me space. And hell, it is Thanksgiving. I reach for his hand and intertwine our fingers. Peace offering. And suddenly I feel complete again. I think he's shocked. He looks at me, at our hands, and back to the road, not saying anything.

"I've missed you Christian. After this dinner with your family, why don't we go back to the house and we can try talking again?" I offer. Boy, last night I wasn't even thinking about this.

"Absolutely, Anastasia. I would love that," he smiles back at me. And for the first time in weeks things are okay. Not back to where they were, but okay enough for me to smile and relax. I've missed my husband.

We arrive at Bellevue and we walk through the door and I immediately see my Teddybear.

"Mama!" he exclaims. And I smile. Christian takes the pies and I grab him into a huge bear hug.

"Oh my Teddy!" I say, a tear slipping through my eyes.

"Ana! How are you dear?" Grace asks me as I stand up with Teddy in my arms.

"Mwissd you Mama," he says, holding my neck. Grace looks at me then to Teddy.

"You were only gone one night, little man," she says, chuckling softly. Well, you're partially right. He was only there one night, but he's been with daddy a few days.

"Hello Grace," and I embrace her, a little tighter than usual. I have missed them.

She leads us into the living room where Teddy's pack and play is and then I head to the kitchen to check on my pies and get a glass of wine.

Christian is sitting on a barstool in the kitchen and hands me a glass of pinot noir. I mouth thank you and turn to see if Grace needs any help.

"No help needed dear. Take a load off, I know you've been busy," she pats my arm and I smile back. Looks like theres only about an hour left before we eat, but we seem to have gotten here earlier than anyone else.

"I think I'll take a walk,"

"Is everything okay dear?" Grace immediately asks, looking at me then Christian.

"Yes, mother. Everything is fine. I'll just go tend to Teddy," Christian offers and we leave the room. I head to the deck then down the stairs and toward the boat house. I need to clear my head. Christian always makes it foggy for me.

I feel disconnected and I know it's because I haven't been with my husband. We were so insync. Or so I thought. Although, for my baby boy, I will not let things like that bother me today. I'm not out here long and Christian joins me.

"Anastasia, you look breathtaking," he starts, coming to stand next to me as I sit on the bench outside the boathouse. I put on a red ¾ sleeve dress with black heels. Nothing spectacular.

"Thank you," I reply, finishing off my wine. He offers me another glass that he carried out here and I take it graciously.

"I know we agreed to talk tonight, but I just want you to know how sorry I really am for all of this. For doing this to you and our son," he begins. He's not touching me. And I don't know how I feel about that. Of course I'm still upset. But with our moment in the car and after thinking last night, I've missed his touch, his everything.

"I can't say to you enough how much it hurt. But maybe we can figure some things out tonight, after Teddy is asleep. I'm sure he'd love both of us tucking him in. It's been so long…." and my mind wonders. It's been so long for a lot with us. Since he's _touched_ me in that way only he can.

"I will make this up to you, Anastasia," he offers me his hand and as we touch I feel our spark again. He leads me back into the house and Kate and Elliott have arrived. As have Taylor and Gail and Sophie.

Gail embraces me and smiles warmly at me. "Good to see you both together."

"Feels nice too," I say.

"Lets eat!" Carrick announces, as we head into the dining room. This isn't so bad.

"So, Ana. That boy is getting so big. You should bring him around here more!" Carrick exclaims, digging into one of my pies.

"Where does the time go?" I reply. We put Teddy down for a nap after he ate his few pieces of turkey and mashed potatoes.

Christian glances at me and I look away.

"We have an announcement to make," Elliott says. He looks to Kate and she beams.

"We're having a baby," she announces. And I look to her. I'm a little envious if I may say so. I would have thought Christian and I would be on baby number two by now and obviously still together.

I get up from the table and embrace Kate. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Ana. We're excited," and she gives me a smile. "It'll work out," she offers.

I nod my head and wipe away the tear coming from my eye.

"Well that's great!" Grace offers.

I grab some plates from the table and make my way to the kitchen. I need a minute.

"Ana, don't worry about those.." Grace trails.

"It's fine," I reply back already putting them in the kitchen sink. I start the water and get the soap. I am truly excited for Kate. But, I can't help but wonder if Teddy will be my only child. Frankly, without Christian, I really don't want any more children. He is an amazing father.

"Ana," Christian announces his presence and I hurry to wipe the other tears from my face. I take the plates from him and don't look at him. "Ana," he tries again and grabs my arm.

"Don't. Not right now," I roughly take my arm back. He steps back and remains silent.

"Ana, dear, please tell me what is wrong. Are you okay?" Grace asks later, as everyone is gathered around watching the football game on their ridiculously large television. That gets Christian's attention.

"I'm fine," I respond, robotically.

"You don't look fine, darling," she replies.

I look to Christian and back at her. He nods at me, a silent approval to just tell his mother already.

"Christian and I are separated," It comes out much more painful than I meant it to.

An audible gasp is heard throughout the room. Mia, who has been unusually quiet, chooses now to pipe up.

"What did he do?!" she exclaims.

"Mia!" her mother scolds her.

Mia looks to Christian and he hangs his head in shame. Elliott can't even look at him.

"How long has this been going on?" Carrick asks.

"A little over a month," I reply.

Everyone is shocked by the news. That is obvious. We stay a little longer and pretend like there isn't an elephant in the room and finally I decide I need to go home.

"I'm going to get Teddy. We should go," Christian immediately stands when I do.

"Why don't you let him stay here another night? Christian mentioned you guys were going to talk," Grace offers. One thing I love is the love they have for my son.

I nod my head and Christian leads me to the car. We are silent back to the house. He opens my door and leads me in with his hand on the small of my back.

At this point, I am so confused. I feel this need for him but I am still so upset with his actions. He takes my coat and his and puts them in our coat closet. I want him to touch me but in the next breath I want to smack him again. After the uncomfortable end to the evening, and the promise to attend breakfast tomorrow with them when we pick up Teddy, I'm just ready to get this over with.

"Ana-"

"No. No. I want to start this," I pour me another glass of wine and don't hesitate. "You embarrassed me with this. Embarrassed our family. You were reckless and inconsiderate. How do I know this won't happen again? That I'm enough for you? I always was afraid I wasn't enough and now I know…" and he cuts me off with a searing kiss. And I don't fight it. I've missed his lips on mine, his touch.

After a few moments, he breaks away. "You were always enough. I felt I wasn't enough for you. I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. You're all I could ever want or need Anastasia. You and this family. Please let me make this right," he states, cupping my face. He waits a beat then crushes me to him when I don't answer. I immediately am hoisted up and wrap my legs around his waist. And he wastes no time taking me up to our bedroom.

He quickly rids me of my clothing and his. This is what we need. How we need to communicate to each other.

He's positioned at my entrance and whispers "I love you, Mrs. Grey." And he enters me. And the world feels complete again.


	9. Chapter 9

Don't forget to add me to facebook by searching for DNoelle Fanfiction. Would love to be friends with readers!

A/N: Still nothing belongs to me but just borrowing. Thanks E.L.!

I'm awakened by a trail of kissing coming from my neck to my shoulder blade then at the top of my breasts.

"Good morning, Anastasia," Christian murmurs. I look at the clock at it's 3 am.

"It's 3 in the morning!" I huff, not truly upset, especially after so long without the feel of my husband.

"And I don't want to waste any more time," he states, pulling one of my breasts into his mouth and biting gently. He always knows how to get me going. I wrap my arms around his neck, in encouragement. He smiles against my breast and continues south.

I moan loudly as he makes it to my clit.

"Do you still want us?" he murmurs, barely above a whisper. Talk about bad timing.

"As in "us"? Back together us?" I ask, squirming on the bed.

He lifts his head from my folds to look at me. "Yes."

I look into his stormy gray eyes. A mixture of hope and lust and want swimming in them.

"I do still want you," I reply. "I'll always want you."

And that's what he was needing to hear apparently, as he continues lapping at me. He inserts a finger and I nearly explode at his touch.

"Not yet, Anastasia," he replys huskily. I removes his fingers and flips me so I am on all fours, bare in front of him.

"I have missed you, missed this, baby," he says positioning himself behind me. He slowly enters me and my vaginal walls clinch him. "So tight, so wet. Always ready.." he mumbles, picking up speed.

I'll always want this man. No man could ever compare. He grabs my clit and I am sent over the edge. His orgasm is not far behind and he lays us down, my back to his front. He's gently playing with my hair. Times like this remind me of right after we had Teddy. He was so gentle and warm. A completely different person from when I first met him. It was amazing.

He moves my hair from off my neck and kisses my neck and shoulder. "I love you, Anastasia," he whispers, nibbling now on my earlobe.

"And I love you, Christian, but.." and his ministrations stop. "We still have a lot to work out."

He halts his movements and exhales softly. "I know."

"I'm not even sure you can convince me this won't happen again," I murmur, still feeling him behind me.

"And I don't blame you for those feelings. However, what will it take? I haven't seen her, spoken to her, since…...that night," he offers.

I roll over and come face to face with him. I can see the pain in his eyes. Pain he himself caused. I refuse to take any blame for his actions.

"Good. And there is no one else?" I ask, not sure if I am ready for the possible answer.

"Since you left Ana, I've spent my time drinking maybe too much when Teddy isn't here and then with him when he is. No. I haven't spoken to anyone, including her," he states and I know it's the truth.

I nod and look down at his chest, where some of his scars are and run my fingers over them. He tenses then relaxes immediately.

"I want nothing more than for our family to be back together. To continue and maybe expand…." he trails.

I nod again. I don't want to leave the cocoon of this. The real word lately has been too harsh.

"Sleep, Anastasia. I've let Taylor and Gail know to come here in the morning and they will bring Teddy with him. You're off tomorrow, so just relax," he kisses my forehead and pulls me even closer.

I choose to relax and let it go again for now.

I wake up again to the sounds of my husband and son playing in the living room of the house on the sound. I almost forgot about everything for a minute. I miss this. All I keep thinking is how much I just miss this. Maybe forgiveness isn't too far off. The way he communicates to me verbally and physically leaves no doubt of his love for me. Then why? Why did this happen?

I go into my old closet and find a pair of yoga pants and long sleeve tshirt. Keeping it basic today. I slip on my UGG slippers and head into the living room. Christian has Teddy playing with his blocks and Gail is plating some food.

"Mooorninnng momma!" Teddy exclaims clambering to his feet and high-tailing it to me. I really need to spend more time with him. I've been so caught up in everything that I have been neglecting my own son.

"Teddybear!" I grab him up in my arms and hug him tight. "Hey little man, ready to eat?"

"Panacwakes!" I look to what Gail put out for us, and sure enough, pancakes.

"Yes sir! Gail even cut them up for you!" I smile at him and add his bib and secure him in the high chair. Teddy wastes no time using his hands and smushing the pancake pieces into his mouth.

"Good morning, Anastasia," Christian says, pulling out a chair for me.

"Thank you," I reply. Gail gave me my signature hot tea and needed ingredients. As well as my usual banana.

"Aren't you going to eat more than a banana?" Christian asks, pulling his omelet closer to him.

"No," I reply, peeling the banana. I know he's got a food issue. But, since moving out, I've been able to relax a bit and eat what the hell I want to eat. He doesn't want to start this for me today. Seriously.

Christian cuts up a piece of his omelet and offers it to me. One whiff and I want to vomit. I leap from my chair and head to the bathroom rather quickly. The parts of the banana I just ingested among other things have now vacated my body. I flush and go to splash cool water on my face. Boy, I look worse for wear. Clammy and pale. What the hell? I felt fine when I woke up.

I hear a knock at the door. "Ana, I've called my mother to come check you out. I've got Teddy. Why don't you lie back down?" Christian calls, obviously holding our quite talkative son, blabbering about anything and everything in his special child language.

Great. Not only am I sick, but Christian has called the calvary better known as Grace and I'm still here at the house on the sound. Not back in the safety of my apartment where I can hide from my husband.

I open the door and am greeted by three very concerned faces. "I-" and then everything goes black.


End file.
